Hey All my super awesome friends and foes! Now that I have everyone's attention,Let me tell you about some ups and woes.
I've come to the conclusion that the only way to combat the negative things in my life and my own personal hell of dealing with a chronic disease, is having "more sunshine" in my life. Whether it be in the form of good deeds (which I try to do anyway but I need to get off my rump and do MORE) or Surrounding myself with positive people so that hopefully I can selfishly feed off that to keep going and be positive myself. Yes I'll always have the valleys where I cry and pity myself half to death but I'm going to try different outlets to express it. Like here. But I'll put a warning on it in advance :)
This week has been great for a lot of reasons. I decided to delete my all too nerve splitting post about Mandatory Army Fun for a few reasons, ALL being MY own, just so we're clear. It wasn't to recant feelings or admit I was wrong in anyway for expressing my feelings in the appropriate venue, which is my blog (public diary essentially). Inappropriate would be spray painting it on the outside wall of the Hangar on post. *giggle* Maybe I thought about it...
I realized that the negativity would only spread rumors about ME and my intentions about what I wrote. The guys are communicating more now and things are starting to settle down in the office. Call it a blessing in disguise or what you will. I think it also gave me a chance to grow in "my blogging", friendships and in general as a military wife. So I was grateful for the the upheaval.
My heart needed to reach out to the one I hurt the most by all of this so I set out at the beginning of the week to extend a small gesture. Let her know I was thinking of her feelings and that I still loved her as a friend. I dropped a wrapped bouquet of flowers at her doorstep with no expectations. It was sincere and it was all about making her day a little brighter. I know with some space and time to reflect, that our friendship can heal to some degree. I have faith. Even as hurt as she may have been, I know she has a huge heart. I don't believe it has the capacity to shut me out and write me off completely. I will never give up on anybody so long as I feel ANY reason not to. And this is definitely one of those situations. Besides, we are a LOT more alike than either of us may fully understand.
I'm finding "my place" here in Germany I think. It's sort of feeling like home...it's only taken a YEAR!! But hey, good things are worth the wait. I've decided to start new hobbies that I have been thinking (and running my mouth) about FOREVER. One including this very blog (Thanks Tippy!) and crocheting (again, thanks Tippy for getting me off my lazy fanny!) She's so great. Learning to play guitar is the other one I'm really excited but SUPER intimidated by. I am praying I have what it takes and that I won't get discouraged too easily.
Something else I need to get off my fanny about is Mother's Day. Yep. We are on the cusp of JUNE here! I'm an awesome daughter and such that my gifts are still incomplete and sitting on the counter to be mailed. (Sorry Mommy and Nana!)
I DID however manage to get Alayna's Godmother "Maymie", for the purposes of this blog, her very first Mother's Day gift (since she doesn't have human children of her own)It was from a gifting website and once I saw it, I knew it was the right thing for her from us. It's a purse mirror with her name engraved on it. I chose this because everytime she looks into it we want her to see the beautiful person, inside and out, that we love and miss SOO much!! Of course that's what I put in the card too. heehee. Cheeseball! But meant every word. She IS truly a gift from God and was sent to us at the PERFECT TIME. We could not imagine our lives without her and her hubby. Red and I thought we'd never be able to choose her Godparents, both Mother and Father in the same household and that were the closest match to us and how we would raise her should anything happen to both of us. I also didn't think we'd AGREE if either of us did have a choice in mind. But on a long car ride one day I brought it up and before the words came out of my mouth, Red completed my sentence and we both smiled and knew instantly that it was a "God thing" and Oh so meant to be. We prayed, God delivered.
While we are on the subject of Mothers....and mothering. Sigh. It's time to try again at the whole "potty" thing. I'm really tired of the poopy picassos during naptime. Albeit my daughter is creative and I think it's a surprise for me... Alayna, honey, Mommy's favorite part of the day does NOT including washing poop out of your diaper AND off the walls, crib, you, etc... So stay tuned for this adventure which is going to begin again in a week or so. I'll need lots of determination. And maybe some stiff drinks ;) Time to say Bye Bye Diatees!!
New Happenings:
Alayna got her first haircut last week!! Cute little girl bangs. Time to throw
a rock on her head.
We are hitting up our first German Amusement Park tomorrow! I'm excited to scarf some food and get some thrills...I LOVE me some roller coasters!!
Found out that we LOVE the indoor water pool/park in Ansbach and ALayna is half fish. She hates to be held, just put on the swim wings and she's like "Let me GO!!" Brave little stinker! She happiest in the water and that brings us pure joy!
Noteworthy Observations:
The weather needs to make up it's mind. It's literally been HOT and COLD!! 85 degrees yesterday. 61 today... really?
The smell of grilled ribeye steak NEVER gets old....EVER.
Happy Memorial Day Weekend! Be safe, and remember to remember those who gave their lives for us!!
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