Friday the 13th

The skies are sunny today! I'm not sure if it's the atmosphere OR that having my best friend home from the field makes my world brighter. (literally!)

I've finally recovered from the awful experience that happened last Friday. I know it was last week but it is just a story I felt I needed to share. I'll try to make a long story short. (after writing the post, the previous statement is a fabrication, I did my best, but it's still long. I left out a few details but it's pretty much all there. Please Note: I said "try to")

After an action packed day of lunch, shopping for birthday gifts and spring clothes, we headed back to our abode. 5 minutes into the drive Alayna racked out in her carseat. When we pulled in the driveway I knew it had been just long enough that if I moved her to her bedroom she would've woken up and been cranky! I had things I had to get done during her nap, so I did what I've done several times since living out here. I parked the van in the shade. Opened the side and rear doors to the van, leaned her seat back and let her finish out her nap. It was 65 degrees and breezy. Gorgeous for sleeping outside (if only we had a futon). I unloaded the bags out of the car and into the house. I opened the windows so I could hear her if she woke up and called for me. Every 8-10 minutes I poked my head out the door to check and see her little bare feet hanging still. I want to say it was about 30 minutes total she was out there. In the kitchen I heard her little mumbly voice, time to go get the little peanut! Slipped on my pink crocs and headed outside. She was standing on the floor of the van in front of her carseat facing it. The second she caught sight of me she started screaming. So I hurried and grabbed her up, stunned she knew how to get out of her carseat. (or did I loosen it so she'd be comfy? I couldn't recall) I closed up the van and headed inside.

Changing her diaper upstairs I thought she was still in the process of waking up because she was rubbing her eyes and looking at me strangely. I talked to her for a little bit and right away I noticed something was wrong. Her eyes were vacant and eyelids were slightly drooping. She stared around her room in what I interpreted as amazement. Almost like she'd never been there before. Anyways, trying to put in the important details, she was acting scared of tile floors and everytime I tried to set her down she'd stumble around and fall on her bottom. Something was really off. In my mind, "This isn't my child! What on Earth happened during her nap?!" I didn't want to be alone. So I called ARMS and Princess Peach over to "observe" her with me. Is she partially blind? Is this one of the horror stories where a toddler just wakes up one day a different child and has autism? Inside I was freaking out. I was just desperate for her to snap out of it!!

Princess Peach had mentioned if maybe there was something in the van she could've gotten into? Cleaner, medicine? No. I was absolutely sure. Adam had cleaned out the van recently and I found her in front of her carseat so by all appearances and time, she had JUST woke up and got out. The girls left because she seemed to calm down a little bit and they both had things they had to get done at home. I understand they couldn't drop everything to come a stare at my kid. I saw them out and asked Alayna if she was hungry. Of course. She requested "Nummy" for dinner (oatmeal). Sure, why not? After 1 and 1/2 servings she was very quiet and still watching Stuart Little. In my eyes she looked like a tiny zombie. Something PP said about her getting into something in the van had me bothered. In the back of my mind I knew I wouldn't find anything but I went outside instead to just take a look and ease my mind.

Why are the front doors locked? I didn't lock the van. Hmm...after I opened the door I noticed there were coins in all the cupholders. So she WAS up front fiddling around! super. Man, my child is quick. So what else was she able to get her hands on that could create this mysterious zombie-like behavior? Hazard light button was pushed, napkins were pulled out of the glove box...okay cool, now I know she knows how to open that up. Better see what else is in there. I opened it and shuffled around through papers, lipgloss and such and it hits me. I think there may have been a pill sorter in here from last September when we went to Garmisch. But it's not in there. "Maybe I took in the house already." I kept looking around on the floor and in the seats and when I got to the driver's side door compartments I saw it. A 7 day pill case...with one little door open to it. Oh no... what was in this? Thinking back there were only 2 medications I had left by the end of that week. Singulair and Ambien. There were 2 Ambien. I know it. And here, there is 1. In the blink of an eye it all came crashing down on me: her being out of her carseat, the stumbling around, the fear of everything, the vacant zombie look...All signs she most definitely ingested Ambien...OH Shit!!! She's only 25 pounds! And this was over 2 and 1/2 hours ago!!

I darted in the house as fast as my legs would carry me, grabbed her in my arms ran upstairs to Google the number for poison control. Meanwhile I sit her on the bed next to me and pick up my phone to call a friend, I didn't want to do this by myself and I was on the verge of a panic attack. I quickly threw down a Klonopin so I wouldn't lose it completely. As I'm about to hang up with Tiffany to call the 24 hour nurse Alayna throws up ALL over my bed. I jumped up it startled me so bad. There was no warning anything like that was coming. She starts crying hysterically and I assure her everything's okay. I take her to the bathroom and strip her down. Clean her with a rag while I'm talking to the nurse. She's asking me all the questions "I know" she HAS to ask but I don't have time for all this!!! So I babbled off stuff as quickly as I could and then interrupted her and said "Look, I understand you're doing what you need to do by the book here. But if I'm SURE my 2 year old swallowed an Ambien over 2 hours ago do I need to get to an ER?!!" She said I'd be justified. So I hung up with her, took my naked child in to throw a diaper and some clothes on. By this time i'm lightly shaking, the adrenaline has me bad. My mind was reeling..I needed to get pants on, it's cold out and umm a bra! Grf!! Why can't there be 7 people here when stuff like this goes down? I lay her on the clean part of my bed and throw on what I can. Grab her an extra set of clothes and a blanket and haul buns back downstairs. I swiped my bottle of water on the way out the door.

I picked up Princess Peach and Luigi (it was his 5th bday btw and his party was the next morning. PERFECT TIMING right?) and put in the address for the hospital in Neustadt. Here we go. I didn't speed (much) but you better believe I wasn't in the mood or frame of mind to wait on anyone. About 7 minutes into the ride ALayna throws up again all over herself and the carseat. Starts crying of course. My sweet friend gets turned around to help clean her up and calm her down as I speed down a back road. I'm apologizing to Alayna and thanking Princess Peach for cleaning puke off my daughter. Something I don't know if I could've done had it not been my own child...I don't do well with vomit as a whole. It seemed like it took forever to make it to the hospital but finally we parked went inside. Met a nurse at the ER desk and she says to me "I don't know why you came here, we can't treat children this young." Umm, what?

Yeah. Apparently they have no clue what to do in this situation and she needed to be taken to the Children's Hospital. I wanted to explode. In my head, "Your a freakin' HOSPITAL! with and EMERGENCY Room!" So they tell me we can't drive there, Alayna has to be transported by ambulance. Been there before. Great. So....now what? I follow in the van? Then how do my comrades get home? If they take the van and I go in the ambulance for the ride...How do I get home? I had no Euro, no extra clothes, no nighttime meds. Okay, well ya gotta do what ya gotta do to survive I guess and Alaynas health was my #1 priority. Everything else just didn't matter. As they are gathering the crew for the transport the nurse advises me that if any situation like this arises again, Don't drive anywhere, call an ambulance and they'll take her to the Children's Hospital. Good to know. Those of you over here in Germany with children that small, take this as your heads up!

During the ride, which was quite long, Alayna was pretty hard to keep occupied. She went from zombie like to hyperdrive. And of course I don't think any child would feel warm and fuzzy strapped to a gurney riding backwards with strangers and lights shining in your face.
A couple of blown up gloves and an oral syringe later and she was pretty manageable. The Hospital they took us to was right outside Nurnberg in a town called Furth. Everybody seemed to be pretty chill at the whole situation. I had assumed by now they would've at least drawn blood or started IV fluids. After all, you can't go anywhere in the American Hospital system with something going in or coming out of your body via needle. They looked her over, checked her pupil responses and watched her walk around. We were being kept overnight for observation and they shuffled us right up to the pediatric floor for her age group. She had a crib and I had a bed. Ahh. A bed! Not a recliner or horrible plastic couch!

One thing I will say about German hospitals, they are very clean. Very accomodating. Apparently they strive to do things in the least invasive way possible. Which is great for me. That's how I prefer to do things when the circumstance permits. The nurse brought us juice and water and said we could get settled in to get some rest. By now it was about 11 at night. I was to call the nurse when Alayna fell asleep so she could come in and put the O2 Sat and Heart monitor lead on her toe. She had said she'd peak in from time to time in case I fell asleep too. Alayna fell asleep and I realized I had too, waiting for her to be all the way out. The nurse came in the a little flashlight, very quietly and uncovered Alayna's foot, put the lead on, covered her back up and silently left. Not disturbing anything or anyone. Nice. They don't come in the knocking, announcing themselves and turning on every light in the room to scare the daylights out of you after you fell asleep just 20 minutes ago! It's wonderful! SO tried to get some sleep and woke a few times. Alayna did really well. It was very quiet. In American Hospitals, all you here all night are clicks and beeps and people walking by talking loudly as they stroll the hallway at midnight.

I was able to call out to my Army fam about the situation with letting the dogs out in the morning and getting a ride home once we were released. When we were being kept overnight they told us we'd be released sometime midday. There was a birthday party going on for one of the little boys in our group of friends. I threw a monkey wrench into the whole thing! It seemed like everybody was everywhere!

Well in the morning Alayna woke up at 7 which is unlike her but it was a new place so, to be expected. I was a wreck and soooo tired! We both made it through the night though!! She was definitely My Alayna in morning. She pulled the lead off her toe straight away of course and the nurse came in a few minutes later and said since she was awake it was fine to be off. They had all they needed anyway. We were brought breakfast, an assortment of breads, soft pretzels with Nutella, jelly and butter. Hmm. Doesn't seem balanced to me but hey, Carbs will do!! :) The doctor came in to talk to us at about 9 am and she was very nice. Her English was great too. She said the medication would be pretty much out of her system by now. She advised us to come back right away if she got worse again or there were any new strange symptoms. Other than that, we were free to leave. Another awesome thing about German hospitals, no crazy long discharge process. So I called around and arranged a ride to come pick us up and take us home. Alayna laid down for a nap and so did I while we waited for my friend to get up to Furth. She had to first go and pick up Alayna's carseat which Princess Peach lovingly washed for me so Alayna wouldn't have to ride back in dried up vomit. The only negative things (in my eyes) about German hospitals is, there are no TVs and to Telephones in the rooms. Bed, table, bathroom. That's it. Keeping a 2 year old entertained with no toys and no TV was no easy task. Especially for my child. A spoon and a cup did okay for a while until she got sleepy. I myself was half asleep when Amanda called to tell me she was there at the hospital. It seemed like a looong ride home. I was so thankful to her because I was really glad I didn't have to drive. I had a dull headache and just needed to relax. And take my meds.

The "horrible mom" complex hadn't budged at all. I know people say these things happen and it could've been drain-o or a dishwashing tablet...But still it was ME who forgot about the medication in the glove box. It was ME who underestimated the skill and speed of my toddler. It IS ME who is responsible for her life. When we got home, we ate and slept off and on all day. That night she behaved really well so I could get some chores done around the house. I cleaned up the mess of my sheets and at that moment was really glad I decided to invest in the awesome waterproof sheet! So all the evidence of the ordeal was gone and washed away. I had "my child" back and she was okay by the grace of God. They did give Alayna the cutest teddy bear at the hospital as a token I guess. It had bandages on it's head and a sling on it's arm. Adorable little boo-boo bear! I'm going to write the date on it. LOL

That was my Friday the 13th.

The next morning you better believe I went over the cars and the entire first floor of the house with a fine tooth comb to check for anything she might possibly be able to get into. To my relief, I found nothing. But now I really do KNOW there is nothing. And there will be no more finishing naps in the car.

Afterthoughts about the whole thing:

Why the hell will my child swallow a yucky pill, lick chalk and paint with poo but she refuses to give broccoli a chance?

I'm really glad that a friend asked me about hazardous things in the car or else it may not have been bothering me enough later to go check it out.

Even though a horrible thing happened and I blamed myself, it was ME who knew my child well enough to know something was terribly wrong and not ignore it. So that made me feel a little better. It could've been worse. Rat poison and such...

Since when is 9am "midday"? lol. ;)

I have some really great friends here.

Lastly, I don't know who was traumatized more by this incident....myself or the child. (I'm leaning towards me)


Thanks for bearing with me for the long haul! I highly doubt future posts will ever be this long.
Tchuss!!