Been a few days but I have not abandoned thee!
I had a pretty stellar weekend if I may say so! Friday we just hung out here at the house as a family. Red did some cleaning, I nursed a migraine and Alayna was a great lil toddler. We watched Avatar: The Last Airbender and I'm going to give it 4 out of 5 stars. It was pretty darn good! I had watched some of the cartoon series with my little brother last year so kinda knew the basis for the movie. Hope they come out with the next installment soon.
Saturday we ventured to the pools and had a blast. Adam was totally disappointed when I snuck past the wading pool with one of the yummiest things I've had lately...a fresh donut with creme filling! He thought I could resist? c'mon!!! I did my little workout in the pool. I'm not completely guilt free but it was a fair trade I think. So I just pointed my nose in the air in his general direction and kept walking. hehe.
That night I went to Tippy's house for a "Stitch and "Bitch" with the whiskey girls. We had a little wine, some desserts and lots of juicy stories. I was way too uptight to knit since I tried it a few times and found there was nowhere to put stitches! They were SOOO tight! So I drank another glass of wine, sat back, sold out and broke out the crochet stuff. ;) I'll try knitting again as I wouldn't mind doing both! It was such a great thing for me to get a night "in" so to speak, with the girls to just hang out, learn something new and chit chat. I'm hearing it'll be a once monthly deal, I'm down!
Sometimes I catch myself thinking I have TOO many irons in the fire right now. I'm too scatterbrained and know better than to take on too much all at once because I get overwhelmed and tend to shut down. Really it all comes down to lack of energy and days clear of fibro fog. Ugh. For the past few weeks I find myself wanting to go to bed as early as I can manage and get up as late as Alayna will sleep in. Napping has been a pretty regular thing to. I'm starting to come to grips with the "why" of it all.... pain. Whether dull or excrutiating, I always feel like crap. I hurt, all over and sometimes don't understand how it's even possible to hurt on a daily basis for this long... and when I sleep, I don't hurt. If I dream I'm able to do whatever I want to do without thinking about pain or trying to shove it down. I run, climb, heck maybe I'd even fight someone. And effortlessly with no consequense. In reality I have to be concious of everything I do and how it will effect me later. Not only because I have things that have to get done, but I have a 2 year old who still solely depends on me for everything.
And BAM, as soon as my eyes open, the very thing of any 5 senses I experience is, pain. Sometimes I dream that if I was put into a medically induced coma for any period of time, maybe my body would really reboot and I'd wake up normal again. The old me. Like instead of writing this, I really want to put the laptop down and go to sleep. I could be out in 5 minutes. It's a very overwhelming temptation. I almost can't fight it and some days I don't bother trying. I take enough B vitamins to kill a horse and stay away from caffeine. Not much seems to help most days. It is what it is. And I only do what I can do.
(UPDATE: after I wrote that paragraph I put the laptop down which I don't remember and next thing I know, Red is waking me up! I fell asleep and didn't even realize it! I was only out for 20 minutes but I was that sleepy.)
My sister mentioned something to me about maybe having low iron levels. I've been lazy about taking my daily vitamin so I jumped back on that and added in an iron supplement. It's been 2 days and seems to be helping a little BUT I know it takes a while to build your iron levels back up so I'll give it a week. If things aren't better I'm dragging myself to the doctor for bloodwork. Something has to give here.
I'm almost angry at myself for sleeping in and taking naps. I am literally sleeping my life away and that's just stupid. But would you believe me if I told you I can't help it?
I really have tried getting up at 7:30 in the morning (before Alayna) and staying up no matter what. I'm absolutely miserable and physically can't focus on anything. I fall asleep if I even sit down. So, my main goal is to get my energy back. I need it for so many things. Exercise, house chores, hobbies, showering... Doing things with friends and with my kiddo. And my poor husband, well, we won't go there. I know without a shadow of a doubt that he loves me. I don't know who else could handle me.
Okay so enough ranting. I truly did have a pretty awesome weekend (when I was awake). I hope we'll be planning our next 4day weekend here soon. I want to go camping! So I'm praying for some decent weather and getting back on the ball.
Happy Hump Day Everyone!
Well you shouldn't take iron for a week then go to the dr, it'll through off your results. low iron runs in the family, I think. Take your iron supplement with a glass of OJ and stay away from dairy for a bit before and after as this will inhibit the absorption of the iron. Hope it helps. I know it's hard cause of yer fibro, but make it a goal to exercise everyday, even for a few minutes, bc it will eventually bring up your energy levels and stamina. :) love you lots. I'll be praying for a miracle for you. As jess has recently reminded me...God is the ultimate healer. Xoxo
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