While it's no secret that the spouses of those in the military make many sacrifices in their personal lives and dreams to support the career and service of their life partner... what seems to be hiding in the shadows (because we "try" not to complain about having to put our career dreams on hold) is the empowerment to accomplish the dreams we CAN in the meantime! Or discover dreams we didn't know we had. However, lately the ice is starting to melt over the prairie and with a little sunshine and inspiration, women all around me are awaking to the possibilities of fulfulling dreams that aren't related to professional careers. It really IS like a field of seedlings in my eyes. We are all tiny and green but with some time and work I'll watch every one of them blossom.
I'll just speak to one instance and I don't think she'll mind me saying so because she knows how I feel about her. (at least I hope she does) I have a friend whom I met at Fort Rucker. She was the very first wife I met, after that those were big shoes to fill. Anyhow, she is very well educated and intelligent. She's been studying and going through class after class to further her education to secure (I think a Masters degree). Neither here nor there, I think even she is aware that having 4 children and a husband deployed, she won't be working in that professional capacity anytime in the near future. BUT...and there is a big BUT. Something else she has amazing skills at...is CAKE. She started out making cakes for her families occasions and then graciously did cakes for the birthdays of her friends and their children (She did Alayna's 1st Birthday Cake, WOW!). Our close knit group of friends (and I'm sure many others at some point) had nudged a little bit for her to start a business. We thought she was just really talented when it came to cake!! Maybe it's because she's really sweet ;)
Well she is!! She hmm'd and hawwed over it and after moving to Fort Drum decided to open herself up to public orders. I was so proud of her and very excited to see what would be flying out of her kitchen! It may not be her Exalibur as far as goals but I sense she's very happy with all that she's accomplished thus far. Being able to have a job she enjoys, that she controls, that she can do in the comforts of home surrounded by her children, that can move with her and such. I mean really if delivering internationally wouldn't be so expensive and well... almost impossible for cake...I'd be one of her VIP customers!! (in the top 5 along with a little Italian firecracker who lives for her cake)
She is definitely one of the prime examples of going with what you've got!! One of my heroes for sure. She supports her husband with every ounce of her being and fulfills herself in the ways she can "in the now".
My dream is to be a midwife or pharmacist (or both!) however schooling is the issue at hand now. So...I study a little on my own, keep up with my Pharmacy Technician Certification because I know one day it'll be my turn to have the reigns to go after my Excalibur! In the meantime there are small non-profit dreams that I'm trying to set out after. Learning how to play guitar (which Miss Cake does ALSO!), crochet beanie hats for preemies and become fluent in American Sign Language.
I don't think I should have to wait until retirement to enjoy these things. Yes, I'm a stay at home mom and raising a child, which is my #1 priority but at the end of the day I'm still "me". I have thoughts and hopes that aren't encompassed around potty training, bathtime, storytime and all. There is no room at the Inn, in this case, the German Kindergarten in my town. They can only take 12 children ages 1-3. 12!! They are full up. And since the community offsets some of the cost, you can only reap those benefits in your town of residence. I can try a town over here or there and IF they have the room and will take her, I have to pay the entire amount. In Euro. Have you seen the exchange rate?! So in reality, she's at home, with me for now. Which means I'll do what I can, when I can. It sucks at times but I fully understand I chose to be a SAHM as well as the wife of a soldier.
Don't give up the part of you that can dream the little dreams while you stand by his side. You're so much more than a trophy ;) You can make a difference, no matter where you are, no matter who you are.
So for you, is it bike riding long distances? Playing in some sort of sport league? Sewing? writing? Caking? Building Bird Feeders? Becoming a tattoo artist?
I'm not waiting anymore!! Neither should you.
Afterthoughts:
Now someone start an in home daycare so I can bring my child! (lol) kidding!
The HeyTell App for iPhone is totally AWESOME!!!
I'm really craving some cake now.
There is absolutely nothing sweeter in life than seeing your little girl love gently on her sleeping daddy. Rubbing his head and talking softly to him. Then just simply wedging herself bewteen him and the back of the couch and watching Bambi. :)
Recipe will be attached to next post...stay tuned!
Buhhhbye for now!
:)
ReplyDeleteAmen! 1 step at a time!
ReplyDelete